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Telling this story

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Ben: I was quite emotional. I just felt as though I'd dug up so much, that it was hard to handle all in one go again - you know? At least back then, it was day-by-day, week-by-week...and then last night it just all rushed back, and I started thinking over and over and it really threw me back. I didn't expect to feel quite so emotional.

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Dave: It's been quite easy, actually; I thought it'd be a lot harder. When I've been talking, I've been thinking about the struggles, and the ups and downs I was going through at the time, and what an achievement it is - to actually still be here, after all these years, after everything that's thrown at you. I should really pat myself on the back!

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Haydn: I've feared for many years that what gets read in future generations about history won't be factual. It'll be what the government want to believe or want the general public to believe. And that's a sin in my eyes, because history is the only way that we'll proceed in life. If we don't learn from history, then there's no hope for us

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Joseph: It's draining. It really takes you back on a rollercoaster ride through all of the illnesses, all of the emotions that you felt. You get flashbacks and even to a certain extent, I'd say, almost a panic attack on a couple of occasions where the intensity of the emotion and sadness, the disappointment, the disbelief that you felt, has come back to us again. It really is lifting a lid on something that is normally kept very tightly locked away. It's purely a survival mechanism.

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Mick: I think it needs to be told. I think for me it's just the fact that there's going to be a lasting memory of a good portion of haemophiliacs who have gone through the same as me. Yeah, we've had little media stories here and there, but nobody really knows the whole truth of what's happened; nobody really knows the whole story; and nobody really knows how we all have gone through it and what's happened to us. Whereas this is a sort of an everlasting audio documentary, I suppose, of what exactly we've all gone through. You know, when you look back at it, it's been said, on days in parliament, it was the biggest NHS disaster in NHS history. But nobody seems to want to acknowledge that; nobody seems to want to do anything about that; and I think this is probably the only thing that will still be there when we've all gone. That and the Birchgrove stone hopefully!

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Paul: I've really, really enjoyed it. It's been a really positive experience. This isn't going to be just something that's going to be on the radio, or on tomorrow's television programme, or an article in next month's newsletter. This is going to be something that's going to be kept forever. I think that's pretty important. I'm just a little cog in a wheel of all that's happening: all those other guys that have been involved in this; all the people that have made this happen; all the people out there not involved in this that have fought for haemophilia rights, for treatment, for recognition; all those people that have written letters to MPs and made a noise about our situation. It's for all of them, it's to make sure that we're not forgotten. Even if I die of natural causes in a rocking chair at the age of 95, this has still been a traumatic experience for my life and has changed my life completely and changed my life in a way that I never expected, never anticipated...

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Owen: I think that the history of people with haemophilia and HIV is being re-written by the Government. That makes me very angry and I would like, in the future, for people to actually understand what happened to us and what is still happening to us and what's happened to the people who've died. From my perspective - and not the Government's or my doctor's or anyone else's!